Thursday, November 17, 2005


Saturday, November 05, 2005


Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Leap To Da Beat

#Leap to da beat
Leap to da beat - -

#Sheep sometime bleat
Sheep sometimes bleat

#Beef is ma meat
Don't skip da beat-beat - - -


Uh-huh. Yyair!

Friday, January 28, 2005

I'm A Vagamuffin!

I’m a vagamuffin! / Half-tramp shaggamuffin / Givin' out the easy duffins / Street losers hear me comin’!

‘Cos I’m a showman / Don’t wet me with your hose man / Your rappin’ makes me doze man / Bald as a snowman – understand!

The justifier, rectifier / Views up on the high wire / Slip between the burnt sheets / Gurnin’ on a sheep’s fleece!

Hold up the band man! / Devil’s in the frying pan / Chef's shat a leg of lamb / You’ll never understand!

A close shave / A dope rave / In my castle there’s a knave / Joustin’ loud and poutin’ proud / He dobbles like a gay Dave!

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Court Out

What’s the difference between a Sunday football team made up of refuse workers whose captain has just been sent off, and someone who tries and fails to win a major tennis tournament. One is ten binmen, and the other is Tim Henman.


How do you tell the difference between and Nazi and a Communist?

Analyse and compare their political ideologies, national loyalties, preferred subjects for victimisation, methods of persecution, uniforms, leaders and ultimate fates.

Road to Nowhere

Why did Hitler cross the road?

Because it formed the territorial border between Germany and Poland on 1st September 1939.

Friday, January 07, 2005

Those we've lost.

Abigail Besottomy
Emerton Recalcitras
Jamie Flavorgate
Timmy Sensuous
Paris Cocrapital
Dougie Twollbochs
Balthasar Semissenthiant
Vince Ganderstain
Walther Phammyn
St. Whosp
Susan Taxipose
Anton Deck
Tamsin Kanserboast
Gay Riecheraundt
Lola Benepreg
Sharon Pregnaflatz
Charmagne Pregnefits
Tracey Pregnorant
Sid Billicide
Emancipo Dettletter
Garbo Retenospose
Adrian Bookcellar
Luther Blöbach
Benjamin Fenêtrance
Gasslyte Wawido
Sefton Kemiflaske
Onan Sreach
Gay Haadkau
Art Abogganer
Flick Jendorsnapp

Condole at

This entry is a fucking joke!

What do you call Damo Suzuki’s warm-up act?

A Can opener.

Monday, January 03, 2005

Unknown Soldier

What do you bury a dead soldier in?

A soul jar.

Do you get it? I do.

Alright, stop it now, just go to

A Pointer

The farthest point on Earth, from wherever you are standing, is still Mr. Peter “The Gentrimetre” Tandemount of Northwich Imploria who has a single-arm reach of over 2 metres with index extended.

His point is made at great length at